“Why Playing the Cards Life Deals You Serves You

Cards

I’ve spent the last year hobbling around on crutches due to a foot surgery done badly. I’ve received many a suggestion for distracting myself from being disabled and awaiting bones mending enough for a second surgery. One of the suggestions I received from more than one person was to check out the BBC series “Poldark”. After my second/remedial foot surgery in June, I found “Poldark” available on Amazon Prime Video and decided to check the series out.

Well! Several viewings later and the purchase of the next series of Winston Graham books for reading, I’ve come to realize why “Poldark” has captivated me so. Yes there is eye-candy a-plenty of both the natural as well as the 2-legged variety. And while I love a good historical drama, this did not explain my need to watch “Poldark” over and over again. The discomfort I was feeling at being so consumed by the series I knew signaled a jewel of sorts awaiting my discovery. 

What I’ve come to realize about my borderline obsession with “Poldark” was not an infatuation with Aiden Turner (altho’ an interesting person and talented actor) as my friend Peter had teased me. Themes of hope, of redemption, of the mystery and challenges of love beautifully played by actors and actresses with those accents we Americans love to listen to. “Poldark” beautifully unfolds how playing the cards life deals you serves you and the people life has you playing with. And the preciousness and beauty of your life when you choose to live your life using the GPS of your honor and your compassion.

While social marketing (and one’s childhood) can lead to you feeling as though you or your life somehow lack, what if you picked up the cards life dealt you and played them? Instead of apologizing for being “too sensitive”, embrace being so and honor your sensitivity “card” in how you live your life. Living your sensitivity-not defending it nor hiding it away-shares the quality of sensitivity with those life has you playing with and learning with. Campaigning for the changes you seek in the world rarely is as effective as simply living them in your life and your relationships.

We are all diamonds in the rough who become more clear and beautiful through how we challenge and are challenged by those we love and are in relationship with. Trying to be different from the cards life dealt you for playing only keeps you from being happy and successful as you are. For not all which inspires us to become better as human beings is comfortable nor easy as many a new mother will attest to.

A powerful way to change the world for the better is by bringing more of who you are to light and for living. While we may believe we know how things should be, the truth is there are many many more factors at play in your life than your mind alone can realize. Life evolves, refines itself through you and me taking up not only what we call good, but the imperfect of life as well. Your happiness has a better chance of unfolding in ways magical and beautiful when you play the cards dealt you for serving you and your life.

“What Creating a Happier Life Will Ask of You”

Price of Happiness

We live in a time when information is abundant as to how to be happy. Even the US Declaration of Independence offers “unalienable right” to happiness as guaranteed by it’s government. And yet happiness can be elusive, as realized by any measure of the level of happiness in the human race. So what gives?

Happiness lies in being congruent with your soul and purpose and living your sovereignty. Yet we have been taught our soul is for matters not earthly and to fit in for keeping safe and to be normal. And therein lies the rub-claiming your right to happiness will require you to get uncomfortable, to take risks, to be true to yourself first.

Living your sovereignty-living in congruence with your deepest values- is essential for being happy in your life and your relationships and learning to do so does not come without challenges. Untangling from the pain of what is familiar is not always easy. And knowing what is wrong is not enough to make things better. 

Taking on what is causing you pain or is not working in your life or relationship takes courage as well as wise guidance and support for keeping faithful to your intended changes and making different choices. Too many women settle for simply complaining about their unhappiness and blaming others for it. Or fall into the trap of embracing their fears as more powerful than the grit and the grace they come endowed with as women. 

Consider yourself blessed if your life or a relationship challenges you, for at the heart of the challenge is the call for you to live more of who you truly are as a woman. Yes, it will mean you will be uncomfortable at times and you will question choices you are currently making. Yet unlike what you’ve been taught, happiness comes through how you respond to what life brings you, not the false belief you can control life or others for your happiness.

Happiness is your birthright and what your heart and soul desire for you. And, realizing happiness will require you re-tool your beliefs and learn to receive the wisdom and strength already within you. It’s not easy at times, yet as I remind my those I work with, learning to flex the muscles of their soul and grace as a woman is well worth a bit of discomfort for realizing more happiness and purpose in their life.

 

“What Creating a Happier Life Will Demand of You”

Price of Happiness

We live in a time when information is abundant about pretty much everything, including how to be happy. Even the US Declaration of Independence offers “unalienable right” to happiness as guaranteed by it’s government. And yet happiness seems to be elusive as realized by any manner of measuring the happiness of the human race. So what gives?

Happiness lies in being congruent with your soul and purpose and living your sovereignty. Yet we have been taught our soul is for matters not earthly and to conform for keeping safe and being considered normal. And therein lies the rub-claiming your right to happiness will require you to get uncomfortable, to take risks, to be true to yourself first.

Living your sovereignty-living in congruence with your deepest values-is essential for being happy in your life and your relationships. Learning to do so does not come without challenges for untangling from the pain of what is familiar is not always easy. And knowing what is wrong is not enough to make things better. 

Taking on what is causing you pain or is not working in your life takes courage as well as wise guidance and support for keeping on track for realizing your intended changes. Too many women settle for simply complaining about their unhappiness and blaming others for it. Or fall into the trap of embracing their fears as more powerful than the grit and the grace they come endowed with as women. 

Consider yourself blessed if your life or a relationship challenges you, for at the heart of the challenge is the call for you to live more of who you truly are. Yes, it will mean you will be uncomfortable at times and question choices you are currently making. Yet unlike what you’ve been taught, happiness comes through how you respond to what life brings you, not the false belief you can control life or others for your happiness.

Happiness is your birthright and what your heart and soul desire for you. Creating a happier life or relationship will require you to make changes in your choices through your actions. Doing so may not be easy at times, yet learning to flex the muscles of your soul and your grace as a woman will yield much better results than blaming others for the state of your happiness. Life has a way of insisting change happens and as the saying goes, what we resist, persists!

“Throw Out Your Rear View Mirror and Leap!”

leap dayWe are rounding the corner into the 3rd month of the year, a time of year when people begin to realize either success-or not-with the changes they vowed to set in motion for making 2016 their best year yet. Ok, maybe not their best year, but at least a year they would be happier, or more loving, or communicate more honestly…..you get the picture. As Dr. Phil would say, “how’s that working for ya?”.

A dynamic sure to create feeling helpless or hopeless, is vowing to change something in yourself or your life and then not setting up support and strategy for creating a change. Not wanting to be unhappy will not make you happier nor will wanting to be more loving with your partner be of much use when your partner does that thing which triggers your best imitation of nails on the chalkboard!

Looking in your life’s rear view mirror for how things were-good or bad-keeps you from being present and taking action for creating outcomes you want today. Beating yourself up for how you “shoulda, coulda, woulda” or how you made that mistake, only keeps a past wound from healing into wisdom present today. So what can you do if you find yourself looking in the rear view mirror of your life?

1. Acknowledge you are beating yourself up for something in your past. We too easily discount how powerful our thoughts and beliefs are in what we call “our experience” in life. It truly is not what happens that takes you down, but what you tell yourself and get back up from a sucker punch in life. The story of your life is yours to write, a gift which comes with your precious gift of life. Do you like the story you are choosing to tell about yourself and your life?

2. Take time to really feel what you are feeling. We have been taught to be wary of our emotions and labeling your emotions is not caring for them or yourself. An emotion is like a freight train-engine in the front, container cars in the middle, and caboose at the end. An emotion can be powerful, contain past experiences and unresolved power, and offer you wisdom in the end. The conductor of the train? You! Do you know how to conduct yourself in your life for receiving and learning from your emotions in life?

3. Throw out your rear view mirror. Beating yourself up for a past mistake or choice keeps you from living a better choice today. Your past is for learning from and your present is your opportunity to try again. I know it may be difficult to believe you get second chances on matters which even today hurt. But Nature has taught me an undeniable truth-life naturally moves forward for offering you more experiences of beauty and love.

4. Let it go. Many a time I have realized I am “circling the drain”-a thought is going ‘round and ‘round in my head, making me feel badly about myself or another person. Once I realize I am doing so, I take a few deep breaths and remind myself I can choose peace or war. Choosing peace requires me to let go of the destructive thoughts. And bullying myself with a thought will keep me from being able to address what is troubling me.

Let yourself receive the present of each new day, much as you were gifted with another day this leap day and year. Haven’t succeeded so far this year in your vow to be happier this year? Haven’t quite got that loving feeling back on the front burner? Then leap! with courage into re-committing to do so today, with some support and strategy in place for realizing your success, and your best year yet!

“Love Being the Smartest Person in the Room”

A few years back while working with a marketing coach for revisions to my website, I expressed frustration at the conflicting advice I had received about website copy over the years. He laughed and said something which struck that “wisdom bell” we all have within us. “Never forget you are the smartest person in the room JaiKaur”. I laughed but then went back to pondering which expert I should listen to about how to make my website copy better.

I’ve never met a women who doesn’t feel she is somehow lacking. Whether not skinny enough, sexy enough, productive enough, the bottom line is she is “not enough”. Instead of challenging the truth of the insidious voice of where we are lacking, we purchase products marketed for this lack, or feel shame about that lack, or simply give up on feeling content and at ease with being as we are. 

Woman

Your life contains a finite number of breaths and an infinite number of choices to celebrate your being and life. Yet all too often a woman’s experience of her life is a confusion of messages from people past and present about her purpose and worth. ‘Confusion clears and clarity reigns when you learn to receive the softer voice within you whose sole purpose is to illuminate your life’s true purpose and your worth as most precious. 

At the end of the day, the choices you make in your life and your relationships are yours alone to live and breathe. No matter how good someone makes something sound, no matter how much authority you give someone, you alone answer for the choices you make at the end of the day. Chances are good you already know what’s true for you, making you the smartest person in the room-about you! Now the only thing that’s keeping you from enjoying what you know is trusting and committing 1000% to what you know and taking consistent action towards your goals and dreams, inspired by your knowing.

So practice trusting yourself more, trusting what you like more, and taking action inspired by the wisdom within you, more. The more you practice the better you’ll get at loving yourself and the life you are creating. Learn to dial into the wisdom within yourself and to receive the softer voice as the voice you trust – not the voice which tells you how you are not enuf! Really own your choices, embrace your courage, and empower a love affair with yourself and with your life. For you truly are the smartest person in the room about what makes you happy and how to live your life on purpose.

 

“May You Live in Interesting Times”

What interesting times we live in. Being a student of woman’s history and potential, I find the dynamics of the president campaign fascinating. Some of the earlier missed takes of women’s empowerment are repeating themselves, but progress not perfection is how creation works. What is it to exercise power as a woman? What is it to be supportive as a woman yet still be true to myself? How can I live my precious life with integrity to my values and purpose and honor the roles I engage in my life as a woman? 

We live in times most interesting, a time when so much of what we’ve been taught is true, is changing before our eyes. Truths such as what is power? what is family? what do we give authority to? are breath-taking in their change. And terrifying can feel the degree of change in what we once believed kept us secure and safe in life. 

Even planned revolutions bring unplanned challenges to staying true and on purpose to the heart of the revolution. Women are being asked to heal the wounds of the historical rage within them while also birthing new forms of power and relationship with those who wounded them in the past. Yet, while all revolutions have their traps as well as their treasures, navigating the choices and changes showing up in your life simply needs you to live the grace and grit your birth as a woman bestowed upon you.

“How’s Your 2016 Treating You?”

Freaking out

I don’t know about you, but 2016 is already requiring me to exercise more neutrality, wisdom, and courage for not freaking out in response to the challenges and changes life is sending my way. Now don’t get me wrong, freaking out has it’s place in life-not unlike how a good thunderstorm clears the air. But freaking out onto the people you care about (including yourself) does not end well. All that time and energy spent in emotional drama is sooo 2015!

The free Tele-class “Your Soul Medicine as Woman” I offered earlier this month offered me many reasons to freak out. Beginning with my assistant forgetting to send out the call-in numbers before going on holiday, to the recording function failing, my inner “you’re a screw up” dragon had a field day with me. Yup, 2016 began with great reasons for me to freak out and feel powerless, but this is not how I roll when I remember to engage my grace, grit, and gratitude as a woman.

As I shared in my tele-class, women need to call on their soul medicine for navigating contemporary life’s changes and challenges and keeping their happiness and purpose intact. “May you live in challenging times” is said to be a blessing, yet without engaging the tools and strength your soul offers you, the challenges life sends your way will seem overwhelming and have you feeling helpless. Learning how to receive and decipher your soul’s guidance changes feeling afraid and hopeless to living your happiness and purpose.

I invite you to CLICK HERE for a FREE phone session with me, for why feel alone with your worries, fear, or sleepless nights? Perhaps you already know what you want or need to change, but feel helpless or hopeless to make the changes. Woman are gifted with many strengths and skills, yet caring for yourself as well as you do others can be challenging. Take a minute and ask yourself if 2016 is the year you learn how to claim the grace, grit, and gratitude within you as a woman. Or if 2016 is the year you continue to feel helpless, hopeless, or unhappy with your life or relationships.

“The Soul Medicine of Women” FREE Tele-Class on Wednesday December 30th at 1 pm EST


Light of your soul
It’s the time of year when the darkness outside reigns and the light within you beckons. Women are gifted with many graces, not the least is the capacity for an intimate relationship with the medicine of their soul. Within your soul are wisdoms and strengths not available through your mind nor through your emotions. Wisdoms and strengths you need for meeting the changes and challenges in your life as a contemporary woman.

Life’s changes and challenges are many and meeting them with only your thoughts and emotions will leave you feeling hopeless or helpless about making things better. Learning to respond to life’s changes and challenges with the wisdom and strengths of your soul will grace you with the healing and changes you desire. Your soul medicine as a women is vast and victorious, dependent only upon your commitment to becoming intimate with your soul.

When a woman learns how to call upon her soul’s guidance and strength for living her life, her relationships will improve as will her happiness and even her health. Mark your calendar, invite your friends, and learn how engaging your soul medicine as a woman graces you for creating more happiness, ease, and purpose in your life.

“Arising From the Ashes When Life Falls Apart” FREE Event

Ashes-Heart-jpg

Life has a way of bringing home how truly little you control in life, be it when you are born or you die, when people come or go from your life, or what challenges your day will bring to you. To be happy and feel at peace in life requires learning to rise from the ashes of what falls apart in your life. The irony being learning to do so IS what you have control of in your life.

Learning to receive what is changing in your life as your ally, opens up room within you for more happiness and peace. What falls apart in your life is your holy invitation to let die what does not serve you, making room for birthing what does. What is true, what is holy, will come from the ashes of what falls apart in your life, not from the illusions of control in your life or over others.

This class will help you rise from the ashes of a challenge life has dealt you. Be it a relationship in crisis, challenged health, or the despair of living your fate and not your destiny, come learn how to rise from the sacred ashes of what is changing and challenging in your life. 

Interested?

This FREE Event is being held at Roots and Wings Healing Center in Natick MA on Saturday September 26th from 1-3 pm EST. Bring a friend or tell a person you know needs this class!

 

” Spiritual Divorce: Healing Your Heart and Soul From the Ashes of Love’s Demise “

divorces

Contemporary divorce may be no-fault, but that does not mean no impact on your heart and soul. The end of a dream, of a love you believed would endure, is a wounding blow to your heart and soul. And the often contentious time leading up to divorce takes a toll on even the most robust of spirits.

In this FREE 90 minute class, learn how pain and feelings of failure from even the “friendliest” of divorces offers itself as a catalyst for living with more authenticity and integrity in your life and relationships. Healing your heart and embracing your soul as a woman, makes sacred the ashes of a marriage. (And if you have not made the choice to divorce but your marriage is unhappy, this class offers help for you as well).

Bring a friend, bring some water and a notebook and pen, and be willing to exercise your courage in an environment safe and sage. You will leave understanding how there is a silver lining in even the most heartbreaking end of a marriage or relationship. And how to feel better-not bitter-about love again.

Sunday August 23rd from 2-3:30 pm at Roots and Wings, Natick MA

REGISTRATION REQUIRED

Contact JaiKaur by phone at 508.376.2146 for registration and questions