“Are You Choosing Better or Bitter When Life Bites?”

better or bitter?

Many women struggle with an injustice, a wrong done them by someone they love or by life. They believed being a good person insured them of good in life, yet now they find themselves struggling in an important relationship or their health under seige. “It’s not fair” or “why me?” are thoughts which hound them and their faith in life and people is badly shaken, including their faith in themselves.

I have great empathy for their pain and frustration for I too have felt betrayed by both people and my body. The betrayals felt devastating at the time and I remember feeling so lost as my rules for life had failed me. Who and what was I to trust? Certainly not people, and it felt as though God was on vacation at the very time I needed his help! When your world falls apart, it can be scary and confusing how to make things better….I know.

Life is not fair, at least not the way your mind tells you it ought to be. A crisis in life challenges our belief in life as fair as well as that life plays by the rules we’ve made up for control in life. If we were like machines, performing tasks as our life, our desire for life to be predicable and as we want it to be would be, well, logical. Alas, we are not machines, rather an alchemy of the temporary physical and the eternal spiritual.

Mystery rules life yet navigating life and creating happy and satisfying results does not need to be mysterious. People will disappoint you and life will challenge you, yet your happiness in life comes not from what and who you control, but through your responses with people and in life. Embracing your life as an offers you the opportunity time and time again for the mystery of your life to delight and inspire you.

When you find yourself in a painful place in life, you DO have the power to make things better. How?

1. Reach out for help even if you are afraid. Many a client has confessed to me how scared she was and how hard it was to email me for setting up their free Clarity Session with me. Their fear and lack of confidence in themselves fought with their deeper desire to enjoy more happiness in their life and relationships. Having the courage to change your life for the better does not mean you don’t have fear. Choosing the courage to reach out for help means your fears don’t win and you do.

2. Tend better to your emotions for becoming better, not bitter, in life. Let me give you an example. You’ve noticed your hubby seems unhappy and you are both irritated he’s unhappy and afraid to ask him why he’s so unhappy. What does he have to be unhappy about? No one seems to care if you’re happy or not!

Notice the bitterness creeping in? Your emotions are competing for your attention with caring about your hubby. Learning to tend to your emotions as a way you love yourself as well as others, prevents becoming resentful of those you love. Being a martyr is highly over-rated and bitterness is so yesterday!

3. Understand the difference between the false power of control and the true power of your responses. It is easy to become bitter when life bites you when you believe you are powerless to make things better. Learning you have within you what you need for victory with life’s challenges, makes both your life and the people in it, much more fun!

I trust life and I can teach you to trust yourself in life as well. Life wants you to be healthy and happy, and through engaging your holy, you can be. (Did you know that the words heal, holy, and whole all are from the same root word “whole”?) The grace in your life simply needs your grit to engage for creating a life you are in gratitude for.

Walking as a Goddess on Earth

 With temperatures about freezing for the first time in months, I went on a walkabout today on the land I live with. Winter’s stay was long and harsh this year and I knew winter’s damage would be compounded by the damage of hungry deer looking to stay alive with 4 feet of snow on the ground.

Splintered branches, young pines snapped in half, sides of young hemlocks nibbled mostly away, and cracked trunks of bushes whose blooms bring joy to my life, were sights greeting me as I walked about in the warming sun of April. I sighed as I tagged the trees and bushes needing tending,  reminded again of the circle of life. 

When I first become the steward of the land I live with, winter’s damage saddened me. I love trees and after a heavy snowfall, take my broom out to brush off branches bending almost in half with snow weight. I became more comfortable with pruning and cutting off the damaged parts my tree companions after learning the cost of damaged limbs to the health of the rest of the tree. I learned to honor my response-ability to not only nurture my beloved green companions, but to also make the sometimes uncomfortable decisions of what dies so that the rest of the tree may live.

Walking as a Goddess on Earth honors the mutual relationship we humans have with the other forms of life on Earth.  Whether making the sometimes heart-wrenching choices for our beloved animal companions or insisting on a quality of life for what nourishes us as food, we are called to honor our power in the circle of life with awareness and care.  And when we honor the sacred trust of our power as human beings, we begin to honor how our everyday choices-even the ones we call small- impact in a large way the other life that serves, nurtures, and bring joy to us in our walking as a Goddess on the Earth.

Simple…. Make Love with Your Life

Here in New England, we are beginning the seasonal descent into less sunlight and more darkness while also entering the busy season of  holidays.  Our bodies may want to curl up more on the couch in front of the fireplace while our social self pulls us in the opposite direction of more activity and interactions.  How do we manage this seesaw of our needs and our world?  It is simple really….make love with your life.

We have all been taught to distrust the unknown, to be afraid of what we do not control, and to not give power to the unseen. And while we are biologically wired for physical survival, we are wired as well for exquisite partnership with the sacred…..the partnership at the foundation of art, of creativity, of thriving as a human being….the beauty that reveals itself when we choose to trust Life enough to make love with our life.

As with many matters simple, it may not be easy, but what delight we real.ize when we make love with our life, when we allow ourself to open up to what Life brings for our experience and awareness,  our unique expression to be shared,  our real.ization and our creation. Our life wants nothing more-and nothing less-from us than for us to make love with it and to realize the sacred partnership of the physical and the infinite, the seen and the unseen, the known and the unknown…for this is how we create that which we do not even know is possible to create…and is this not the call of our times and world?