Choosing Drama Less and Choosing Your Power More



“Where is confusion about yourself as “a woman first” holding you back from exercising your power, purpose, and passion in your relationships, roles, and relishing of your life?”  I love working with women who decide to pick up their courage, exercise their clarity, and commit to action for creating more happiness, satisfaction, and impact in their life.  The “ah-ha” moment when a client real.izes how truly powerful she is can be a humbling (not humiliating) moment of reclaiming herself, her happiness, and her satisfaction in her relationships, roles, and relishing her life.

Woman are the sacred portal for human life and serve as teachers, healers, and leaders with life. Where woman are confused about their depth and dimension as women is where we confuse our history for our truth, our roles for our identity, and believe our grace as women is negotiable.  It is also where how we create problems, extend the lifetime of our challenges, and create drama vs engaging our power. A woman may begin working with me for easing a troubled relationship,  guidance for respect in her roles, or to feel happy again in her life…..and,  she soon realizes her problem/s as symptoms of forgetting to choose her power as “a woman first”. 

Contemporary woman remember, reclaim, and renew themselves more through honoring themselves as “a woman first” and the “to-do’s” of rules, roles, and relationships less.  Being “a woman first” is taking action on inner wisdom, embodying compassion in relationships, and living with clarity, courage, and certainty our dreams.   Being “a woman first” is knowing confusion is our invitation for inner clarity, self-criticism as our opportunity for compassion for ourselves, and conflict with others offers itself as a container for creative and deeper connection with the other. And contemporary times call for us to show up, stand up, and speak up….as women first.  We live in times scary and sacred, times calling for living times calling for living more of our power, purpose, and passion as a woman.

The “Contemporary” Leadership of Women

 Much has been written, talked about, and even merchandised about the new power and contemporary leadership of women.  As a woman, I initially received this buzz about contemporary women’s place with a “hallelujah”, and now sigh, concluding how like the truism of memos serving the illusion of action, talking often serves the illusion of change.

One of the challenge I offer to those I work with is “how are you taking action on your new awareness/desire/choice/commitment in your daily life?  While words are powerful, using words only for talk diminishes the power and clarity the authentic (root) meaning the word offers us for committing to action.

The root (Latin) meaning of the word “contemporary” is “together with” and I smiled to have found a word so accurate in describing the history of women’s leadership. While the word “contemporary” may currently mean “new/current/fashionable”, women’s leadership throughout history has been “together with” .  

Women for ages have been “together with” the birthing and nurturing of new life, “together with” healing, tending and caring for members of their community, “together with” those in old age and in death.  The leadership of women is not new, ever unfashionable, nor simply the leadership of men with a skirt and lipstick on it. 

So the next time you hear talk about the new and contemporary leadership of women, smile at knowing just how contemporary women’s leadership is and commit yourself more to taking action “together with” your deepest values and what is sacred in the life you lead as a woman.

 

A Time of Initiation

Have you noticed how we are no longer debating whether global warming is/is not going to happen (it’s here is the quiet consensus) but whether we humans will make it through the multitude of changes and challenges, or not?  Books on ” 2012″ abound and prophecies of civilizations no more, are being used to support both the doomsday predictions of the changes and by those who conclude we are entering the next golden age.  So what really do we know about what is going down?

Knowing often brings humans a sense of comfort because knowing offers us a sense of control, and control is what we have all been taught grants not only safety, but power. Yet, what has power when change and challenges are not only out of our control, but overwhelming in their nature and scope as well?  

As Einstein offered, insanity is continuing to choose responses that created a problem in the first place, and expecting the problem to change…not!  Meeting the challenges in our lives offers an invitation, an initiation really, for choices and power different than we have been choosing…..choices made differently with our divine and infinite knowledge and power as human beings.

Initiation means “to begin” and is the perfect word for reminding ourselves to begin to bring our infinite and divine knowledge and power to our challenges.  Our physical minds and hands alone cannot meet the changes and challenges life is bringing us in spades these days.  Alone we never are if we initiate engaging our infinite power and knowledge for what challenges us, and what challenges us offers us the beauty, satisfaction, and legacy of our infinite, divine, creativity as human beings.

Walking as a Goddess on Earth

 With temperatures about freezing for the first time in months, I went on a walkabout today on the land I live with. Winter’s stay was long and harsh this year and I knew winter’s damage would be compounded by the damage of hungry deer looking to stay alive with 4 feet of snow on the ground.

Splintered branches, young pines snapped in half, sides of young hemlocks nibbled mostly away, and cracked trunks of bushes whose blooms bring joy to my life, were sights greeting me as I walked about in the warming sun of April. I sighed as I tagged the trees and bushes needing tending,  reminded again of the circle of life. 

When I first become the steward of the land I live with, winter’s damage saddened me. I love trees and after a heavy snowfall, take my broom out to brush off branches bending almost in half with snow weight. I became more comfortable with pruning and cutting off the damaged parts my tree companions after learning the cost of damaged limbs to the health of the rest of the tree. I learned to honor my response-ability to not only nurture my beloved green companions, but to also make the sometimes uncomfortable decisions of what dies so that the rest of the tree may live.

Walking as a Goddess on Earth honors the mutual relationship we humans have with the other forms of life on Earth.  Whether making the sometimes heart-wrenching choices for our beloved animal companions or insisting on a quality of life for what nourishes us as food, we are called to honor our power in the circle of life with awareness and care.  And when we honor the sacred trust of our power as human beings, we begin to honor how our everyday choices-even the ones we call small- impact in a large way the other life that serves, nurtures, and bring joy to us in our walking as a Goddess on the Earth.

The Power of Commitment

Commitment is a word that has gotten a bad rap in the last generation and is a word in bad need of a reality check. The definition of commitment is ”dedication, allegiance, loyalty, faithfulness, fidelity” ….what’s to knock about any of that?  Me thinks it is not what commitment is as much as the mis-use of the word commitment to mean handing ourselves over to others…..clearly not what the true definition of commitment is!

When working with a client, one of our core exercises is up-dating concepts and words from having meaning and power outside of ourselves to claiming their meaning and power within ourselves. Commitment is no different; it is a word and a power first applied to oneself.  What do I commit my precious life and energy to?  What commitment do I make regarding my thoughts?  Will I commit to my deepest values or simply go along with whatever?

Commitment is needed to create, to grow, to achieve in life.  When an acorn commits to growing, it commits to pushing up against the darkness and weight of the soil for reaching the sunlight it needs to grow into an oak tree.  As human beings, we live our days by committing to some level of faith and trust of the unknown; if not, we would never get out of bed!

Women seed, nurture,  and contain the creative forces and this grace we flow through us as women relies on our commitment to do so. When we do not commit to being a woman first and make the mistake of committing instead to the duties of roles and expectations of others, we feel the unhappiness and dissatisfaction of committing so. Where we commit as women lies the caliber of our lives as well as those we lead through our vision and wisdom as women.

Once we embrace the power of commitment as women,  we offer ourselves the opportunity to surrender to divine grace,  a topic I take up in my next blog “Surrendering to the Goddess”….stay tuned!