Years ago I lived in a spiritual community important to the man I had married. Daily yoga and mediation formed the backbone of the community’s spiritual practice, along with learning Eastern wisdom and healing. The stated goal of the community-and the authority of the spiritual teacher-were for becoming “more conscious”. The gap between the community’s stated values and how the community functioned I chalked up to the nature of human beings and power. Until it became personal.
When I became pregnant, I was given information from the teacher’s tradition on being pregnant, giving birth, even raising children. I found much of the information interesting, some useful, and did my best to not make issue of what I disagreed with. I was trying really hard to be a good wife and a well-behaved member of the community. I was trying really hard to keep my then-husband happy with me and safe with the authority of the teacher. But my life had plans for me other than “staying safe by being good”.
My son weighed almost 12 pounds at birth (he’s now 6’ 4”) and he was hungry-a lot! But according to the spiritual teacher, to nurse closer than every 4 hours was to be a mother “catering” to her baby, insuring a neurotic child. My husband was adamant I follow the 4 hour rule, even if that meant our baby cried from hunger 3 hours after nursing. It was more important to him I behave than it was his son was hungry. My baby’s needs were in conflict with the teacher’s rules and I knew I was in trouble.
I prayed for clarity and the answer came back quickly, although not an answer I looked forward to honoring. I wrote to the spiritual teacher of my experience with nursing our large baby every 4 hours when he clearly needed to nurse every 3 hours. And while I intended no disrespect to him as a spiritual teacher, I needed to honor my integrity as my child’s mother. I wrote that I had chosen to answer not to his rules but to the god of mothers. Honoring what I knew to be true became more important than my fear of being judged lacking by people important to me.
My reluctant choice to become “more conscious” as a mother pleased neither the spiritual teacher nor my husband. Ironic? Yes, but as I tell my clients, irony is often present where life is calling for you to pay attention. My initiation into motherhood wasn’t easy-kinda like giving birth to being a mom-but the victory of choosing my integrity over my fears was priceless. Your heart and soul are waiting to help you to shake up your world for making it better.
The god of living your life by what others think, the god of being good and staying quiet for staying safe…..many are the false gods we give our precious life and our best to. That’s why when a woman comes to me reeling from a crisis of relationship or the despair of living her fate not her destiny, I tell her she is blessed for she can now reclaim her integrity and honor the gods true in her heart and soul.
What gods are you serving with your precious life? Are they gods true in your heart and soul or are they gods false in their promise of safety and security? If you would like to explore answering to a god more true to who you are and what your life is about, I invite you to sign up for your FREE Clarity Session. This one hour phone session is your opportunity to ask me your questions and receive answers for how to live with more happiness and peace in your life as a woman.
To sign up for a FREE Clarity Session simply CLICK HERE and follow the directions. I look forward to it!